TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
