ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
