Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Do vagina's smell?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
