Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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