Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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