Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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