I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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