My hand turned me down
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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