is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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