I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
