a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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