he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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