I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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