Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
