anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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