so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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