just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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