MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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