do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize