My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
