Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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