last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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