Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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