Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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