Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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