I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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