I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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