it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize