Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
