How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
