my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
