I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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