all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
