Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Houston, we have a blender
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
