are you still at the devil's house?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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