In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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