Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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