A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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