Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
