don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
