i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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