Apparently you make a good broom.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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