omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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