So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
