shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Randomize
