I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
