I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
