need another drink. this is the easiest way
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
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i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
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I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize