he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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