well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
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lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
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What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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