Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Text me some of your sweat
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize