I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
