we have pet lesbian snakes
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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